i really have so much to tell you. its all balled up and ready to come out. for instance, my husband and his awesome friend just built a beautiful picnic table for me.

and i love having kittens around, especially when they chase their own tails and then realize that it hurts.

and how we just took in this blind cat, but then we let it out again.

and that i want to buy a large empty lot of land with my sister and have a permaculture garden and work part time and live life simply.

and that perspective is everything and anything. the way one sees life…it matters.

and God has been so good to me, gently guiding me to truths that are destroying and rebuilding me again. i am his and he is mine. and yours.

and how i think that this blog and i are ready to part. maybe even for ever.

i really like blogging. i like the way it has taught me to be a better writer, thinker, decision-maker, and friend. but its time.

i realized that i am 25 and i am beginning to have a bad memory. i am too young for this. i think i have too much going on in life and i numb this “busyness” by getting on the internet, blogs in general, and i search and read and laugh and repeat. it has become a crutch rather than a beneficial tool. in general, i am trying to become more self disciplined i guess. i’m takin it to the old school where books, gardening, and those around you are what matter. i will try to keep the internet as a tool for things such as research and occasional enjoyment.

and i am really gonna miss it.

so with a couple tears in my eyes (pathetic), i say goodbye.

to you dear blog reader

when friends know you so well that they can make you a CD with confidence, you got it going on. friends are everything. they make me who i am and more everyday am i thankful that grace is real. blossom and sara and ellen and scott make the best CDs and it is good to be known and loved. ellen made this one here.

they called him negro. and it wasn’t that long ago. i have a lot to think about and probably say because of this youtube video and how it connects with black america today. i am not ready to go there yet.

what i am ready to do is tell you how this lead me to watch a lot of oscar winning moments on youtube and how i highly enjoyed it and maybe cried a little. it was quite fun. thanks youtube.

have i ever told you about the woman who took my starbucks in china? so i was walking around by myself in shanghai and stopped to grab a coffee. this woman came up to me and just stared at me. literally, one foot from me, staring. who does that?

so i tipped my starbucks to her like, “you want some?” she grabs my drink starts screaming to me in chinese, spits in my face like 7 times, take about 5 sips, turns around, throws the drink (which still had some left) and walks off.

this is a picture of her right before she throws the drink. in her left hand you can see the green straw.

classic. and i forgot about it until tonight. thanks for such good memories china.

Clare Owen Illlustration

she’s who saw me through. she was my partner in crime, hong kong style. she is who saw me through my crazed shopping faze, my watching of harry potter, my translation difficulties that she so kindly fixed every time, my boss, my henna, my boredom, my icrecream addiction, and my food difficulties. we all need a vicky in our lives. especially one that can be your penpal forever and take the condoms every time you hand them to her before check out. even if its only funny to you.

she wrote this when i left hong kong. i miss her.

Nice to meet you, miss strange

‘You fool me with the condom tricks,
You teach me how to pronoun “big”,
We always create our own break,
Patting all the strays cats and dogs,
They are all nice to this miss strange.

I am sorry because I’m always late,
Late at work and late in events,
Thanks for forgiving me all the time.

The truth is
Thanks for being with me all these weeks,
Without you I’ll be dead of boredom,
Thanks for making so much fun,
Thanks for teaching me so much about the west,
Thanks for making me think about the cruelty towards the living things.

You just left Hong Kong for 12 hours,
I am already missing you.

I will see you soon in Taxes year after,
If I could save enough $$$ to get there.

So ..
Bye-Bye Bye-Bye Bye-Bye.
howa howa howa
haiya haiya haiya’

its been a wild ride of a day. tomorrow will be another one. and i look forward to the unknown of it all. eating a good lunch always keeps me going. tonight i made pesto. super easy, super yum. it will go on some deliciously overcooked noodles tomorrow.

Fresh Basil Pesto Recipe

Ingredients

• 2 cups fresh basil leaves, packed
• 1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan-Reggiano or Romano cheese
• 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
• 1/3 cup pine nuts or walnuts
• 3 medium sized garlic cloves, minced
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

• Special equipment needed: A food processor

Method

1 Combine the basil in with the pine nuts, pulse a few times in a food processor. (If you are using walnuts instead of pine nuts and they are not already chopped, pulse them a few times first, before adding the basil.) Add the garlic, pulse a few times more.

2 Slowly add the olive oil in a constant stream while the food processor is on. Stop to scrape down the sides of the food processor with a rubber spatula. Add the grated cheese and pulse again until blended. Add a pinch of salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste.

Makes 1 cup.

Like Madonna says, get into the groove.

two things: i wonder what kayne thinks of this video? and i want creative juices and i have none. can you share?

turdeyeblind:.

beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. just when you least expect it. taken by sara.

its as if the animals around the hood call out to one another, “come over here guys, there’s people who will love you and find good homes for you and if you’re lucky, they’ll let you in and keep you.”

so a puppy shows up. a cute one. one that doesnt rile up the cats, and stays by your side, and makes you wish you could keep him. the spca didn’t want him, but heaven did.

he got sick the second day. didn’t ever get up. i fed him water, but he threw it up. i called dany and said i was bringing him in. i wanted him to die not in our garage with rocks and dirt, but in our house with us, on a comfy bed.

the vet said he had parvo. damn parvo. i made the decision. i called dany. he brought him there, to heaven. i couldn’t go. im not brave enough. he lived a good couple last days. i kissed him a lot and i think he liked it. i learned a lot too. and he was just an animal. ha, just an animal.

makes you realize death is not all that bad. that maybe its something we need to talk about and think about. sometimes in life, you win some and you lose some, but everyone’s gotta keep going.